Monday 12th May 2025
Around the Coffee Table - I almost flooded my kitchen.
Hello friends! Welcome to another ‘Around the Coffee Table’. I hope you’re doing well, and I pray that Jesus blesses you.
I’m going to get straight to it. I’ve had quite the weekend. I feel like I’ve experienced a large range of emotions over the past two days. I’ll begin with the wardrobe. Some of you may have seen my note that I am redecorating my wardrobe.
So, it’s been going well… kind of. I came across a particularly stubborn piece of vinyl and pulled out my Stanley knife to make an incision. The knife slipped and sliced my finger. I am AWFUL with that kind of thing, and I pass out really easily. Tom had taken his daughter out for the day, so I was alone but panicked and called him home. I felt so faint and couldn’t look at it… the cut is not even that bad, but the blood, the pain ahhhh… I’m just a wuss. Anyway, he got home, plastered me up and went back out. It hurt, and I was annoyed with myself, but I lived.
Then I used the scraper to remove the vinyl; the scraper slipped (of course) and cut my nose. Now my nose is bleeding as well. At this point, I decide that the wardrobe can wait. We’re clearly not going to be friends today. Next: squeaky floorboards. This is where the story really gets interesting.
I had brought a ‘Squeak no more’ kit, which supposedly fixes squeaks without removing the carpet. Ahhh, how convenient, you may be thinking. Yes, convenient until you drill into something you shouldn’t. Obviously, without removing the carpet, you cannot see where you are drilling. Let me paint you a picture. I’m at the top of the stairs, and I’m way too confident with this drill. I drill in and I hit a radiator pipe. This pipe starts hissing at me, and tiny bubbles start emerging from the carpet.
‘You’ve really screwed up’ I thought as my heart drops to my stomach.
Then I hear water trickling, so I come downstairs to find water coming out of two of the kitchen’s lighting fixtures. And I mean, this water is coming out hard; it’s not a trickle. Now I’m really panicking. As the wooden kitchen table starts flooding, I grab a bucket and a bowl to catch the water, hoping that’s the worst of it.
‘I need a plumber here now,’ I thought.
So, I went to Google and typed in ‘emergency plumbers near me,’ and I called the first company that came up. Barely getting my words out, I tell them that I’ve hit a pipe, there’s water everywhere, and I need a plumber here NOW, please. This was a Saturday evening, so I was slightly worried, but they got someone to me within the hour.
Okay, so the plumber is on the way. Great. The hope I had that I was experiencing the worst was demolished when water started coming out of the smoke alarm. Lo and behold, the smoke alarm becomes VERY vocal. It’s practically screaming at me. I go to the fuse box and turn the electricity mains off, but it doesn’t stop the alarm.
Then, I realise that my feet are wet and the kitchen floor is officially starting to flood. I look around, and water is coming out of every corner. It’s coming down the walls, emerging from under the sink. This water is creeping out of the weirdest places. If anyone has seen the film ‘Kingsman’, you may remember the water scene:
Okay, it wasn’t that dramatic, but it did feel like water appeared out of nowhere. I’m putting all my energy now into not falling victim to a full-blown panic attack. I am crying. I am shaking. I was thinking the worst: the kitchen was going to collapse in, I was going to get crushed, we wouldn’t be able to live here, and it was going to cost hundreds of thousands to repair. I call Tom, tell him and as he shares my worst nightmares, he speeds home, leaving his daughter with his parents.
I’m now standing outside and poke my head over the garden wall to see my neighbour (we had never met before this moment… poor guy), who consequently asks if I’m okay. I splutter that I am not okay and I need help. He rushes round, and we end up on FaceTime with this plumber who is helping us locate the water lock. We can’t find it; shock. I am a blubbering STATE by this point.
Then my Auntie and Uncle show up with their toolbox. Tom had called them as they live 5 minutes away—my Uncle, a Pastor by day and a DIY, house-fixing genius by night. This man got straight to it. Turned the water off, ripped up the carpet, fixed the pipe, and assisted with the cleanup. Meanwhile, I was outside with my Auntie with a cup of tea and a chocolate/Bailey‘s mousse that my lovely neighbour provided.
Tom eventually gets home and is pleasantly surprised, as he genuinely thought the house was about to collapse. Then the plumber arrives and confirms that my Uncle has indeed smashed it. He bleeds the radiators, re-stabilises the system, and restores the water pressure to its proper level.
We restore the kitchen to a somewhat acceptable state. Everyone goes home, and then a few hours later, the smoke alarms start screaming again. We removed the batteries and turned off the power at the fuse box. I’ve got the fire service coming to check them this week because I think they’re a bit fried…
Sunday rolls round. We still make it to Church! I wash the floors, and the towels and screw the floorboard back down. The house looks normal again now… just some water damage:
This was the pipe that I drilled. We’re keeping as memorabilia (obviously):
I baked cookies and brought wine for my neighbour, Auntie, and Uncle, because frankly, the kitchen might have collapsed if they hadn’t arrived! I was crying out for Jesus for the entirety of this. The only words I could muster were ‘JESUS. HELP. JESUS JESUS. HELP. JESUS HELP. JESUS HELP.’ He was probably looking at me like ‘I hear you, child, calm yourself’.
In all seriousness, thank you, Jesus, for protecting my home. Thank you, that water damage and a damaged smoke alarm are the extent of it. Thank you for keeping us safe and for preventing me from collapsing. Thank you.
I hope you have thoroughly enjoyed this very unique post. Please be assured that we are all capable of doing some very silly things, but in Jesus, we are still perfect new creations. Thank our Lord and Saviour for that! And to confirm, I am now absolutely fine.
See you Wednesday for the fourth and final post in the 1 Samuel 25 series! If you haven’t already, why not go back and give the first three a read?
God bless,
This is a perfect example of how sometimes God works miracles thru catastrophes! What a Great God! Thanks for sharing. I'm so glad the damage was minimal!
wow - it's amazing how one little thing can cause so much trouble. I would've been freaking out too!